The Self-Awareness Blind Spot
Ron thinks he is the most caring and empathetic person in the organization. He prides himself as a strong listener, concerned leader, and the person always willing to offer a good piece of advice.
But is he really?
Unfortunately, no. The rest of the world sees Ron as an egotistical control fanatic. Ron’s team views him as someone who listens, but just long enough until he knows that he can start talking. His concern is fake. Ron only cares about what looks good to the higher ups. His advice is a pushy version of “do it my way,” because Ron thinks he’s smarter than you (even if he hasn’t said it, and you don’t know it, yet).
It took two resignations over the last couple of months for Ron to look closely in the mirror. Only then did Ron realize that he had a Blind Spot. The Self-Awareness Blind Spot.
The Complexity of Self Awareness
It turns out that self-awareness for Ron, like for most of us, is complex.
Self-Awareness consists of two distinct components. The first is internal self-awareness, or “How we see ourselves.” This is what we usually think of when we talk about how self-aware we are. Internal self-awareness is what we know about our behaviors, our thoughts, our values, our goals, our strengths and weaknesses, and a variety of additional personal attributes. It’s what we tell ourselves about ourselves.
The second component is External self-awareness, or “How we believe others see us.” This is the awareness aspect that’s challenging for most people, and especially leaders. Leaders are vulnerable for several reasons – leaders often are good at knowing themselves, leaders tend to think more highly of their opinions than those of others, or leaders just get less feedback (after all, who is telling the leader that they’ve got a “giant piece of spinach” stuck in their behavior).
Some researchers have estimated that only 10% to 15% of people are truly self-aware – understanding in depth both components of their self-awareness. These same studies have indicated that being self-aware internally does not mean that a person is self-aware externally (and vice-versa).
Why Higher Self Awareness is Important for Leaders
Higher self-awareness is associated with many results that great leaders strive for. Here’s just a few of the benefits to both leaders and to those who share their world:
- Higher job and relationship satisfaction
- Greater self-control and happiness levels
- Less stress, depression, and anxiety
- Better work and personal relationships
- Positive perceptions of effectiveness
Eliminating Blind Spots
Increasing our external self-awareness requires work and focus. Here are a few ways that you can begin to close your awareness gaps and reduce personal blind spots:
- Get some feedback. Get honest input from others through conversation, 360-degree instruments, or even quick surveys.
- Review existing data. Think about the times when others have perceived you in an unexpected way. What did they see, hear, or say?
- Put a plan together. Identify two or three areas to focus on. This could be an area to improve, or a strength to utilize more.
- Measure performance. Convert your plan to solid metrics so that you know when the changes sought have occurred. Remember, you won’t know – the world should provide your results!
Back to Ron…
The good news is that Ron, like many leaders, had the capability to increase his self-awareness. He knew how to listen, he was capable of caring, and he had a wealth of gifts to share with others.
When you talk to Ron today, he’ll tell you that he’s a better person and a stronger leader. And why? Because he chose to understand how others really saw him.
He found, and did something about, his self-awareness blind spots…
